10 Marriage Vows That Will Work For You

Updated: Mar 27, 2018

In 2001, my wife and I celebrated a commitment ceremony.  We did not think gay marriage was a possibility back then. In honor of Judge McShane's recent ruling in favor of marriage equality in Oregon, I would like to share the vows we wrote. You need no more guidance than these ten simple rules in order to build a fruitful, giving, collaborative marriage.


1. I will not succumb to cheap marketing plots that will damage our financial future.

2. I will not assume, when I cannot find something, that it was you who put it in an unusual place.

3. I will always help you look for things you've lost, both little things and big things, your glasses or your joi de vivre.

4. I will never analyze the minute details of our conversation in search of assumed slights.

5. No matter how many times we finish each other's sentences, I will always remember you came to me and you remain a unique individual.

6. I will rejoice as you share your interests with me, your eccentric passions, your bursts of genius.

7. When you are old, I will see that you are very beautiful.

8. I will care for you in sickness and in health and hold you tenderly so that you know: nothing could ever make you a burden onto me.

9. I will never be frugal with my love.

10. I come to you knowing and unknowing and wanting more.


My wife and I pledged our love to each other in July 15th, 2001, long before we thought we'd ever get married legally.