Updated: Jan 24, 2019
Have you ever gone to some place you thought was going to be scary only to find it was sweet?
That grungy bar turned out to be full of old guys from the Rotary. That tour of haunted houses was a beautiful tribute to history.
Ten years ago, I would have been terrified to go to a class on erotic spanking! But I started writing romance novels and pulled on my big girl pants. Now I’m so comfortable talking about sex that I have to remember not to. When someone at a work meeting asks, “so what are you working on right now?” I have to remember to keep the answer vague.
“Oh, you know, another romance.”
Actually, it’s about a repressed, young woman who inherits her aunt’s sex toy store and gets a very personal sex education from her beautiful coworker.
I was writing about a sex education, so I had to go to some sex classes. Fellatio Basics didn’t apply so I headed off to Mind Melting Erotic Spanking with Jessie Fresh.
We got a handout with blanks we had to fill in as the lecture went along. So cute! So much like the freshman comp classes I teach.
Our teacher, Jessie Fresh, talked about how she first got into spanking, not primarily as a sexual practice (although it was that too) but as a relief from chronic pain.
She talked about the physiology of pain balanced with pleasure. The body produces adrenaline and endorphins resulting in a kind of runner’s high or yoga trance…but with out the boring running and meditation part. (She didn’t put it that way.)
The technique wasn’t what I expected.
In this technique, the practitioner alternated between spanking and caressing, spanking and caressing for upwards of an hour. A time commitment? Yes. Way better than running though.
There was even a live demo. Jessie’s subject hopped up on the fake-fur-covered table. Jessie walked them through a set of questions that sounded a lot like the questions a massage therapist might ask. Do you have any injuries? Are there any places on your body I shouldn’t touch? And one question that I thought was particularly sweet and poignant: when we’re done, what do you need to feel comfortable and safe? Jessie suggested a blanket and maybe a snack.
The demo was just a brief version of an actual session, but I got the point. At the core, this kind of spanking was about one person taking care of another in a sexy, consensual way. Okay, it wasn’t quite like buying them a fruit basket or taking them to the movies, but it looked…fun.
When we were all done we filled out a class survey which reminded me of school in-service so much I had to laugh.
My advice? Take that class.
Check out that locals’ bar. Go on the haunted house tour. Most of us don’t say yes enough or we say yes to the wrong things. If you have a chance to experience something new in a safe environment, why not? You were given senses to experience the world, a mind to learn, and a body to love. Live!
Karelia Stetz-Waters is a contemporary lesbian romance writer with a passion for happy endings and women's bodies. Here dream is to entertain readers while teaching them the pleasure-secrets that lesbian know best. (Hint: Straight girls, these tips are for you. You can take them to the bedroom tonight!) Order Karelia's work on Amazon or learn more at Kareliastetzwaters.com.