Five Easy Steps to Writing a Smoking-Hot Sex Scene

Updated: Jun 1, 2019

I'm delighted to host Giselle Fox #LetsWriteAboutSex!

Giselle Fox has been writing contemporary lesbian romance with exotic locations, powerful women, and happy endings since 2015. She lives with her gorgeous wife and son on the wild West Coast of Canada and, frankly, never plans to leave.


Do you ever get bored with writing sex scenes? How do you spice it up?

I began my adventures in self-publishing with a little steamy short entitled Claire and the Lady Billionaire. Research of the top twenty Lesbian Romance titles at the time led me to believe that readers liked their romance with a healthy side of graphic sex, so I dutifully complied and made half the book a sex scene. It felt easy enough. No one would read it, anyway, right?

Eighteen publications later, my sentiments about writing sex scenes have changed. For one, I know people will read them - my wife and close friends included. But what's also become clear is that in order for a sex scene to do what it's there to do— advance the love story and give the reader all the feels—there are rules that have to be followed.

Having a clear roadmap for creating what can otherwise feel like gratuitous hormonal chaos has helped me immensely. As a writer, knowing exactly where I'm going is the sexiest feeling of all.

So here are my five easy steps to writing a smoking-hot sex scene (that won't bore the piss out of you even after the eighteenth book). This is how I keep it spicy.

1. For starters, I don't begin writing the sex bits until I’m sure I know my characters inside and out.

2. I'm a big fan of the slow burn, but when my ladies are finally ready to go, they go. It's high-octane passionate fury. Sentences are short. Pacing is punchy. Sounds, smells, sensations are vivid. It's quick, occasionally rough. And then...

3. A revelation. Something unexpected. It might be the way one of them talks when she's aroused, or the way she takes control or submits. It could be a piece of dialog, a secret but something wholly in character. This will elevate whatever chemistry they had as friends to something next-level and unique to them as lovers. It also acts to slow down the pace from that initial frenzy, settling the scene into a rhythm.

4. Rhythm and pacing become everything now. Sentences lengthen, become more descriptive and lyrical. It's not about body part A touching B, it's about distilling all those sexy sensations through your character's relatable point of view. Sentences and paragraphs are balanced. This shows the synergy happening between the characters' bodies, minds, and hearts. They've moved from having sex to making love. If you do this right, they could fall in love right here and no one would question it.

5. The climb. As they ascend toward climax, sentences get punchy again - similar to the beginning except now the heart is forefront in the language you use. Everything, even the environment, comes together in a laser-like focal point. Then, boom! Climax. It's revelational, like seeing something for the first time. This cements their connection. There is no going back. Togetherness (whether then or sometime soon) is the new order.

If you write sex well, you can progress the love story quite quickly without it feeling like a leap. That makes it a powerful tool for a romance writer. It's well worth the time and effort to do it right because it will help make your story believable. Try it out and have fun!

#LetsWriteAboutSex is hosted by Karelia Stetz-Waters, lesbian romance writer, English professor, latte aficionado, and rose gardener. Check out her latest release, Worth the Wait and email her if you'd like to be part of #LetsWriteAboutSex or if you'd like to be part of the companion project, The Cliterate Reading List.