"Will They Think It's Me?" with Alese

I'm delighted to host Alese on #LetsWriteAboutSex!

Alese (she/her) graduated Summa Cum Laude from Carlow University in Pittsburgh, PA. She won an honorable mention for the Jane Candia Coleman Award in Fiction in 2017 and 2018, as well as first place for the Ellie Wymard Award in Creative Nonfiction in 2018. Her novel, Lying in Love, is due to be published by Magnolia Press in 2019.





When you write sex scenes do you feel or worry

that people will assume you’re writing about your own sex life?

This questions struck me right away because it was a huge fear of mine for the longest time! My writing tends to be on the darker side of human nature, and with that sometimes comes the darker sides of sex. I avoided sex scenes for a good, long while because I didn’t want people to judge me or to make assumptions based off what I wrote. It was the same concept that used to tongue-tie me when people would ask what I was reading. I didn’t want people to think different of me based off certain kinks in some of the books I’ve read.

When I first started writing, I thought all authors were like their characters in some way which perpetuated this fear that people were going to know what happened behind my closed bedroom door. My thoughts changed when I wrote Lying in Love. My main character, Amari, has a detrimental attitude towards sex. She is nothing like me, at all. I feel like as an author you can separate yourself from the characters you write.

Personal likes and dislikes don’t have to match up with your characters.

That being said, I’m not going to write a bunch of sex scenes that don’t appeal to me. I will write about what I find intriguing. Just because I wrote it doesn’t mean I’m doing it (or maybe I am—the world may never know). Sex is a part of my stories. People will have opinions and make judgments about what I’m doing in my personal life based off my words. I think it’s unavoidable and I’m okay with it now. As long as people stay respectful or keep it to themselves, it’s none of my business what they think.

#LetsWriteAboutSex is hosted by Karelia Stetz-Waters, English professor, latte aficionado, rose gardener, and lesbian romance writer. Check out her latest release, Worth the Wait and email her if you'd like to be part of #LetsWriteAboutSex or if you'd like to be part of the companion project, The Cliterate Reading List.